Season 3
Late Show with David Letterman: Season 3 1995 6.5 TMDB 210 episodes Talk · Comedy
David Letterman uses mature humor to appeal to his audience in this weeknight series, which gets its music from a house band led by Paul Shaffer. Among the show's most-famous segments are the Top Ten List and Stupid Pet Tricks, the latter of which subsequently led to an additional recurring segment called Stupid Human Tricks.
01 Show #0440 Dave grills his new announcer, making him do voiceovers throughout the show (including #1 on the top ten list). 02 Show #0441 Tom Snyder wants everybody to know that he does not hold a grudge with Dave. Meanwhile, Alan Kalter continues to get used to his new surroundings. 03 Show #0442 Charlton Heston plays ""Dave's Boss"" and bullies him mercilessly. Later, Kevin Pollak promotes ""The Usual Suspects."" 04 Show #0443 Amongst the ""Items Included in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame:"" Stuff found in ZZ Top's beards, a guitar made of David Crosby's old liver, and Marv Albert's Rock & Roll Bloopers, with Hootie (as in Hootie and the Blowfish) getting hit on the head by a basketball. Meanwhile, in order to prepare for an Olympic diver that will be appearing later, Dave recruits Alan and an audience member to get in a tank. 05 Show #0444 Wesley Snipes promotes ""Money Train,"" then strips to a dress. 06 Show #0445 A day after the Emmy Awards, Dave tosses donuts into the audience with the new Donut-A-Pult. Quote Dave: ""Now it's really hard to believe we didn't win an Emmy."" Meanwhile, Biff Henderson recites a passage from the Packwood Diaries. 07 Show #0446 The Donutapult returns, while Dave brings in a cabbie to write a Top Ten list. 08 Show #0447 While promoting the movie ""Showgirls,"" star Elizabeth Berkeley gives Dave a lap dance. 09 Show #0448 Gerard, Rupert, and others discuss what they like about Autumn, while Rush Limbaugh introduces a mini-Donutapult. 10 Show #0449 During CBS Mailbag, Cyndi Lauper sings ""Lactose Intolerant."" Later, the Donutapult makes one last appearance. 11 Show #0450 Throughout the show, winners of obscure beauty pageants (including ""Miss Peanut"" and ""Miss South Carolina Tobacco"") walk across the stage and escort tonight's guests. 12 Show #0451 Dick Assman is still popular in Canada; Newt Gingrich presents the Top Ten list; Thomas Haden Church promotes ""Ned & Stacey""; Dave juggles peaches. 13 Show #0452 Rudy Guiliani give Dave a key to the city, then takes it back. 14 Show #0453 Dave gives a three pound ham to an audience member, while ""Friends"" star Courtney Cox launches the ""Donutapult 2000."" 15 Show #0454 Eddie Jamison (the guy who said ""I Love You, Man!"" in those beer commercials) interrupts the monologue; Doc Severinsen sits in with the band; Mary Tyler Moore accuses Dave of being a brown-noser. 16 Show #0455 Doc Severinsen is still sitting in; The Delaria Sisters, a group of women who hang by their hair on a pole, demonstrate their skills; Dave chats with a grade-schooler who ran off a burgler. 17 Show #0456 Dave invites his neighbor Steve over for coffee; Ellen Cleghorne promotes her new sitcom. 18 Show #0457 13 NYC cab drivers are invited to serve on a mock jury to determine the fate of OJ Simpson. Instead, they're serenaded by Mel Torme. 19 Show #0458 1995: Uma Thurman joins Geraldo Rivera as the mock jury of cab drivers continues to deliberate, led by foreman Parminder Singh. Dave notes, ""Uma, Parminder; Parminder, Uma."" 20 Show #0459 Dave introduces ""The Donutapult 2000+,"" which is so big it has to sit out on 53rd Street. Later in the show, it is converted into ""The Melonapult 2000+."" 21 Show #0460 Amongst the latest ""Back-to-School Items:"" Oreo Cookies with Clearasil Pad Filling, Larry King Ex-Wife Trading Cards, and a Kate Moss Lunchbox. Later, Andy Dick promotes ""Newsradio."" 22 Show #0461 The cast and crew explains why they're glad the O. J. Simpson trial is over; Julianne Moore promotes ""Safe."" 23 Show #0462 Pete Fatovich, ""Creepy Dave,"" and Gerard comment on the OJ verdict, while Chazz Palminteri gives an audience member his coat. 24 Show #0463 Dave's ""younger brother Carl"" sits in on violin; Dave thinks he's on a caffeine buzz. 25 Show #0464 1995-10-06 26 Show #0465 Dave, Cybill Shepherd, and sports legend Joe Montana throw footballs into cabs on 53rd Street. After repeated attempts, all three find their target at once. Also, Dave announces that tonight's show is in ""actual size."" 27 Show #0466 Via live remote, Dave asks a customer at a nearby laundromat to take a pair of pants out of the dryer and bring them into the theater for guest Richard Simmons to wear. 28 Show #0467 Marilyn Horne of the Metropolitan Opera presents the Top Ten; the Rev. Jesse Jackson discusses current events and mentions his son's run for Congress. 29 Show #0468 During CBS Mailbag, Dave goes sailing with Paul, the models and Bob Denver. Later, William Shatner is beamed out of his seat. 30 Show #0469 Dave goes to New Jersey to find a date for mailroom employee/superstar extrordinaire Bob Borden. Meanwhile, Paul is missing, so Dave leaves the theater and finds him chatting at a party with Woody Allen. 31 Show #0470 Dave starts reading the Miranda Rights before realizing he has the wrong index card. He leaves the studio to search for the correct card and finds ""NYPD Blue"" stars Jimmy Smits and Dennis Franz reading the Top Ten List to a captured thug. 32 Show #0471 Throughout the show, The ""Jimmy Letterman Singers"" sing ""Jimmy."" Later in the show, Dave concedes: ""It sucks, it stinks, it blows; it ain't working."" 33 Show #0472 Throughout this year's World Series, kid reporter Sparky Mortimer has been making reports from the stadiums in Cleveland and Atlanta. Tonight, he lands a quick interview with Braves owner Ted Turner. 34 Show #0473 During CBS Mailbag, Paul does a Johnny Carson impression. Later, Dave and Michael Rappaport lather up in order to use the CBS spa. 35 Show #0474 Dave and Paul recruit a guy named Moe from a delicatessen, and the CBS Orchestra puts together a music video about him. Later, Sparky Mortimer runs the bases at Jacobs Field in Cleveland. 36 Show #0475 Upon returning to NYC, Dave gives Sparky a pat on the back for a job well done; Casey Kasem introduces Wayne Hazeltine and the Pants Across America Tour; Carol Burnett takes off her skirt. 37 Show #0476 A pumpkin launcher is demonstrated on 53rd Street, while The Pants Across America tour stops at St. Louis. 38 Show #0477 Casey Kasem and the Pants Across America tour reports from Mount Rushmore, while up and coming actress Claire Danes introduces one of her favorite bands, UB40. 39 Show #0478 Carol Channing harasses Dave during CBS Mailbag; the tour hits the Grand Canyon. 40 Show #0479 Tonight on the ""Pants Across America"" tour, Casey Kasem is in Las Vegas, listening to an Elvis impersonator perform ""Burning Love."" 41 Show #0480 1995-11-06 42 Show #0481 Television City Studios, Day 2: Danny DeVito and Dave get into the stage pool and have a water fight. Meanwhile, Tony Mendez continues his cameo appearances on TV shows; tonight he's seen in clips from ""Friends"" and ""Grace Under Fire."" 43 Show #0482 From Los Angeles: Alka Seltzer® is inserted into the backdrop pool; Demi Moore presents ""The Top Ten Least Popular Stripper Names;"" Green Day performs ""86."" 44 Show #0483 Red Hot Chili Peppers – ""My Friends"" 45 Show #0484 1995-11-10 46 Show #0485 Biff interrupts Dave's opening remarks and asks for water. Out runs NYC marathon winner German Silva with his drink. Later, Bill Murray cooks toast, and Silver runs by again to pick it up. 47 Show #0486 Dave uses the speaker phone to get someone to bring him pizza. Later, thirty folks show up with boxes, and slices are handed out to the audience. Also, the United States is in the middle of a government shutdown, so Dave calls the Pentagon, misdials, finally gets an answering machine, and hangs up. A stagehand gives him an ax, cuts the phone cord, and hands the phone to an audience member. 48 Show #0487 Elton John promotes and sings two songs from his latest album, ""Made In England."" 49 Show #0488 An audience guy holds cue cards in place of Tony (he's sick), while Sean Penn promotes ""Dead Man Walking."" 50 Show #0489 The Presidents of the United States of America perform their breakthrough hit, ""Toad."" 51 Show #0490 Dave sends mailroom dude/budding diva Bob Borden to Washington as a White House correspondent. 52 Show #0491 Dave asks folks on the street (including a poorly disguised Michael J. Fox) what they think of the federal budget crisis; Bob Borden makes his first report from DC. 53 Show #0492 Amongst what's ""New for the Holidays"": Gingerbread Rats, Howard Stern's book ""Miss America"" read by James Earl Jones, and Kreskin guessing the weight of turkeys. Also, Bob Borden interrogates Larry King. 54 Show #0493 Dave gives a turkey to a lady in the audience, then takes a turkey to the balcony with the help of a ladder; throughout the night, celebrities mention what they're thankful for; trapeze artists Helen Turkett and Luke Martin perform. 55 Show #0494 ""Soup Nazi"" Ali ""Al"" Yeganeh passes out turkey chili to the audience. 56 Show #0495 In a sign of future legal trouble, Microsoft owner and multibillionaire Bill Gates tries to fix the Late Show Quiz Machine after it gets stuck displaying the answer ""Windows '95"" in all three boxes. Also, Bob Borden tries with little success to deliver a turkey to President Clinton. 57 Show #0496 Dave has Paul sit down on the guest chair because it's his birthday. Soon afterwards, the outside cam reveals Dave buying Paul a birthday present from a girl on the street. 58 Show #0497 Cold Opening: Dave and Creepy Dave go mano a mano in the green room. Also, Dave demonstrates one of the ""Top Ten Changes Westinghouse is Planning for CBS Tonight"" -- he doodles the CBS logo on blank coffee mugs for tonight's guests. 59 Show #0498 Steve Martin shows up a day early, and Dave can't get him offstage. 60 Show #0499 After showing a clip from his new movie Father of the Bride, Part 2 on a 16mm film projector, Steve Martin and Dave appear in ""The Making of Steve Martin's Appearance Documentary."" 61 Bob Hoskins, Martha Stewart, Al Green 1995-12-11 62 Jean Claude Van Damme, Kirstin Dunst, Michael Bolton 1995-12-12 63 Martin Short, Bev Tanner, The Dave Matthews Band As a tribute to such beloved recurring segments such as ""The Man Under the Seats"" and ""The Fugitive Guy,"" Chris Elliott stars in a short-lived skit ""Cable Pulling Guy;"" Martin Short helps ""baking madwoman"" Bev Tanner make a cake. 64 Harrison Ford, Bonnie Hunt, Bruce Springsteen 1995-12-14 65 Greg Kinnear, Janeane Garofalo, White Zombie 1995-12-15 66 Kathie Lee Gifford, Aaron Neville 1995-12-18 67 Jack Lemmon, Natalie Merchant 1995-12-19 68 Howard Stern, Melissa Etheridge 1995-12-20 69 Geena Davis, Goo Goo Dolls After a video montage of the annual eggnog drinking from increasingly larger bowls, Dave and a model hop into a gigantic bowl of the liquid, later joined by Biff and the Goo Goo Dolls. 70 Rosie O'Donnell, Mike Judge, Darlene Love 1995-12-22 71 Stupid Human Tricks, Julianna Marguiles, Del Amitri 1995-12-26 72 Mandy Patinkin, Terry Gilliam 1995-12-27 73 Robin Williams, Lauren Hutton, Chris Isaak 1995-12-28 74 Susan Sarandon, Drew Carey 1995-12-29 75 Lisa Kudrow, Art Donovan, Blues Traveler 1996-01-02 76 Chevy Chase, Marv Albert, Bruce Hornsby 1996-01-03 77 Tom Brokaw, Greg Fitzsimmons, Faith Hill 1996-01-04 78 Denis Leary, Bridget Hall, Toad the Wet Sprocket 1996-01-05 79 Sam Neill, Itzhak Perlman 1996-01-08 80 Pauly Shore, Ashley Judd 1996-01-09 81 Sandra Bullock, Marlon Wayans, Laurence Tai 1996-01-10 82 Jason Alexander, Elisabeth Shue 1996-01-11 83 Tim Robbins, Justin Wilson, Martina McBride, Norm MacDonald 1996-01-12 84 David Brenner, B.B. King 1996-01-22 85 Mia Farrow, Martin Scorcese, Brandy 1996-01-23 86 Don Rickles, Mary Stuart Masterson, Joe Ely & Todd Snider CBS President Les Moonves (bogus) takes a moment to comment on Clinton's State of the Union address by singing ""Holding Out for a Hero."" Also, pre-teen sports reporter Sparky Mortimer returns to the show and is given a new assignment- to cover Super Bowl XXX. 87 Matt Dillon, Reggie Miller, Pam Tillis Sparky Mortimer makes another amusing -- albeit clumsy -- Super Bowl report; Dave chats with basketball star Reggie Miller. 88 Conan O'Brian, Mira Sorvino, Seven Mary Three 1996-01-26 89 Richard Simmons, Christine Lahti, Nanci Griffith & the Crickets 1996-01-29 90 Jay Thomas, Larry Miller 1996-01-30 91 Elle MacPherson, David Spade, D'Angelo 1996-01-31 92 Alec Baldwin, Dwight Yoakam, Natalie Portman 1996-02-01 93 Cybill Sheperd, Al Franken, Sati Achath 1996-02-02 94 Jack Hanna, Tammy Faye Messner, Aimee Mann 1996-02-05 95 Joan Collins, Robert Downey Jr., Jean Louisa Kelly 1996-02-06 96 Chuck Norris, Samantha Mathis 1996-02-07 97 Stupid Pet Tricks, Ray Liotta, Soul Asylum 1996-02-08 98 Uma Thurman, Norm MacDonald, Ramones Dave offers Liz Taylor a riding mower if she'll come on the show; clips from the HBO movie The Late Shift, which Dave calls ""satire;"" The Ramones perform ""She Talks to Rainbows."" 99 Chris Farley, Gin Blossoms, Joe & Mary Graziano 1996-02-12 100 Adam Sandler, Jackie Chan, Red Hot Chili Peppers 1996-02-13 101 Siskel & Ebert, Neil Diamond, Brandy (the dog) 1996-02-14 102 Tom Arnold, Joan Allen, Lenny Kravitz 1996-02-15 103 Teri Hatcher, Jon Stewart 1996-02-16 104 Kathie Lee Gifford, Gillian Anderson, Cecilia Bartoli 1996-02-19 105 Julia Roberts, James Brown 1996-02-20 106 Larry King, Wynonna 1996-02-21 107 Joan Lunden, Cheri Oteri, Lou Reed 1996-02-22 108 Kid Inventors, Sherry Stringfield, Don Henley 1996-02-23 109 Fran Drescher, Shania Twain, George Miller 1996-02-26 110 Dennis Hopper, Dave Chapelle, Pete Droge 1996-02-27 111 Susan Sarandon, Rob Schneider, Mike Dahm 1996-02-28 112 Kelsey Grammer, Victoria Abril, Allman Brothers 1996-02-29 113 Robin Williams, Patsy Kensit, Spacehog 1996-03-01 114 Sarah Jessica Parker, Treat Williams, Cowboy Junkies In mock tribute to HBO's ""The Late Shift,"" Dave throws baseballs at an archery target. 115 Nathan Lane, Steven Wright, Jann Arden 1996-03-05 116 Stupid Human Tricks, Mira Sorvino, k.d. Lang 1996-03-06 117 Dan Rather, Bonnie Hunt, The Tony Rich Project 1996-03-07 118 Dana Carvey, Riverdance 1996-03-08 119 Ricki Lake, William Shatner, Ray Romano Dave mentions that in between show tapings, an audience guy named Anthony sang ""My Way"" from the balcony. During the taping of this episode, however, Dave invites him to sing it onstage. Also, Dave goes over to Black Rock Bar & Grill to swipe a beverage from Dan Rather. 120 Mandy Patinkin, Tea Leoni, Collective Soul Dave stoically mentions that this will be the last night for the current set, and that it will be remodeled during the NCAA Tournament coverage. To commemorate this, at the end of the show, a couple dozen audience members file by the desk to touch Dave. 121 Barbara Walters, Halle Berry, Ray Charles As the Ed Sullivan Theater is being renovated, Dave hosts his show from the lobby with only 60 folding chairs set up for the audience. Fire Commissioner Howard Safir oversees the proceedings, while guests Barbara Walters and Halle Berry make their entrances through the theater debris. Dave tells Ray Charles, ""I don't know how to break it to you, but you're in the lobby."" Also, a man-on-the-street segment finds that most New Yorkers are apathetic towards the new set. 122 Phil Hartman, Rose Hamburger, The Band After a week of construction, the show's new ""Bridge"" set is unveiled. Dave quickly mentions that he ordered it from a catalog. Martha Stewart honors the occasion by hammering in the last nail. Later, she's seen sanding backstage and, still later, operating a blowtorch. 123 George Foreman, Naomi Campbell, Tim McGraw Dave has an extra joke in the monologue, so he and Tony take it over to Conan O'Brien at NBC. Meanwhile, George Foreman breaks a pinata at Hello Deli, in celebration of the unveiling of Rupert's new ""set."" 124 Don Johnson, Michelle Kwan, No Doubt Mailbag: Dave goes over to Yankee Stadium and steals home plate. Also, Dave chats with ""Cliff Sussman"" (Jay Johnson), the president of the New Set Fan Club, and No Doubt performs ""Spiderwebs."" 125 Nick Turturro, Jenny McCarthy, Stone Temple Pilots Dana Carvey drops by and receives a piece of the set; The Usual Suspects star Kevin Spacey presents the Top Ten live via satellite; Alan Kalter stars in the new midseason replacement sitcom ""Weird Guy in an Elevator."" 126 Mary Tyler Moore, Anna Paquin, Mark Knopfler Dave tricks young Oscar® winner Anna Paquin into getting in a magician's box, claiming he was going to show her a trick. Once he had her locked in, he took off her shoes and tickled her feet!Also, Dave challenges Millionaire Basketball Winner Tom Gates: if he makes his shot onstage, Dave will give him $10,000; if he doesn't, he has to host the show. He misses. So does a very un-athletic Mary Tyler Moore. But Paquin hits, and Dave gives her the $10,000 cash. 127 Bill Cosby, Anfernee Hardaway, Ray Wold After Dave promises that the Quiz Machine will never be seen on the show again, he brings out the ""Flagstar 3000,"" a cheap cardboard facade. 128 Elle MacPherson, Hank Azaria, Cassandra Wilson Anna Paquin returns to the show two days after the basketball challenge and donates her cash prize to charity. Also, Dave temporarily moves his show to public access, and Laurie Diamond persuades him to return to CBS. 129 Bill Maher, Michael Lomanaco, Jackson Browne CBS Mailbag: the Quiz Machine is destroyed (at last!) by a cab, while Tony Randall hides under Dave's desk to protect himself from the government. 130 David Hyde Pierce, Scott Thompson, Pulp Dave shows a clip of Marshall Sylver's infomercial, and throughout the night Dave attempts to hypnotize members of the staff. After Dave accidentally puts Biff in a daze, he calls up Sylver to figure out what to do with his entranced stage manager. 131 Robert Duvall, Amy Brenneman, Tori Amos After miraculously surviving its attempted demise the previous week, the Quiz Machine is finally destroyed once and for all. Also, ten ballerinas present the Top Ten. 132 Tony Danza, Lucy Lawless, R. Kelly Dave begins a new contest: The town that sends the most valuable gifts will be the new Top Ten Home Office. Two huge glass tanks are displayed onstage, each for the two towns in competition. Tonight, Wahoo, Nebraska (the challenger) sends enchiladas, while Grand Rapids (the incumbent) sends a fax from the Governor of Michigan. Not a good start for Grand Rapids. Also, the outside cam visits Sullivan's Bar & Grill next door, and their bartender comes in the theater to pose for a Polaroid picture. 133 Dan Aykroyd, Louis C.K., Sting 1996-04-10 134 Luciano Pavarotti & Michael Bolton, David Schwimmer, Cynthia Rowley The Home Office Competition continues: Added to Wahoo's tank is a pizza, a T-shirt, and a birdhouse, while Grand Rapids adds a garment bag; Dave shows another episode of Alan Kalter's mini-sitcom ""Weird Guy in an Elevator""; Luciano Pavarotti and Michael Bolton sing ""Nessun Dorma."" 135 Tom Brokaw, Blue, Rosanne Cash Dave appears on the Times Square Jumbotron demanding presents; Dave and Fred Nigro go to Jersey to help with taxes, during which Dave recruits a citizen to stand in for him during an audit; Dave plugs his mother's recently-published cookbook. 136 Joan Lunden, Nick Faldo, Jewel An audience member assists in the debut of the Slatstar 2000, while Brett Butler presents the Top Ten. 137 Mia Farrow, Janeane Garofalo, Hootie & the Blowfish Mia Farrow reveals that she's addicted to the internet. Carly Simon drops by in mid-interview, and later, both sit in with the CBS Orchestra, with Mia on tambourine and Carly on cowbell. 138 Samuel Jackson, Jeff Altman, Los Lobos Dave holds an impromptu auction, while Marshall Sylver hypnotizes more Late Show staffers. 139 Kids Telling Jokes, Chazz Palminteri, Celine Dion Wahoo vs. Grand Rapids, Day 9: Wahoo sends two kids, Jeff and Josh Price, to sit in their glass tank. Grand Rapids loses further ground by sending several non-living items. Also, Alan does various random things throughout the night, including reading his turkey pot pie recipe, speaking in a bad French accent, ripping his shirt open, and holding his breath through a commercial break. 140 Dana Carvey, Robin Quivers, Afghan Wigs In honor of the recent Sotheby's Auction that featured items once owned by John F. Kennedy, Biff comes stage on Jackie O's (alleged) riding lawnmower; in a pre-taped segment, Dave interviews CBS job applicants, during which he pressures college sophomore Todd Stevens to sing; Nathan Lane appears to show Todd how it's done; Dave leaves the show to have some coffee with a guy named Kenny. 141 Regis Philbin, Dave's Mom, Peter Berg Dorothy drops by to promote the cookbook that Dave's been plugging for the last two weeks, and she cooks him his favorite sandwich. 142 Barbara Walters, Anthony Clark, Van Morrison At the end of the monologue, a guy dressed up as an Olympic runner bolts across the stage, and later he paces around the backdrop. Also, comedian Anthony Clark promotes his new sitcom Boston Common. 143 Jeff Goldblum, James Carville, Brooks & Dunn Tonight's ""What's On Other Channels"" segment includes ""Condom Testing,"" ""The Mexican Navy's New Battleship,"" and ""Tommy Lee-Pamela Anderson Video."" 144 John Malkovich, Jake Johannsen, Pete Townshend Pat Farmer interrupts the monologue by walking in front of the camera; Marv Albert provides color commentary on tonight's CBS Mailbag; two guys spray each other with fuel at a gas station in Queens. 145 Rosie O'Donnell, Gwyneth Paltrow, Everclear The Home Office Contest is over: Wahoo is now the official home office of the Top Ten List, decimating Grand Rapids from the get-go. Also, Everclear performs ""Heartspark Dollarsign."" 146 Tom Hanks, Steve Young The Late Show begins a week in San Francisco as Mayor Willie Brown interrupts the show throughout the hour by offering Dave the key to the city, a loaf of sourdough bread, and a stick he found in his yard. Also, Paul composes a music video for cable car operator Luis ""Guido"" Montano, with cameos by Los Lobos, Carly Simon, Hootie & the Blowfish and Celine Dion. 147 Paul Reiser, Jane Seymour, Keanu Reeves & Dogstar Frisco, Day 2: Dave gives a bouquet to a 95-year-old lady in the audience; Dave and football great Joe Montana tour the city, where they end up getting ""friendly"" in Alcatraz; Dave checks on the theater in NYC, and finds Clint Eastwood imitating Dave at his desk. 148 Stupid Pet Tricks, Dean Cain, Elvis Costello Frisco, Day 3: Sheila E. and Pete Escovido sit in; Dave shows off the 49ers shower curtain he has in the dressing room; Dave orders Rupert to harass people on the street; Dave invites a shaggy-looking guy in the audience (a professor at Stanford, no less) to take a shower during the show. 149 Eddie Murphy, Paul Doherty, Green Day From San Francisco: Three audience members receive free hams and souvenir cue cards; Joe Satriani sits in; Dave tells the seals at Fisherman's Wharf to shut up; the San Francisco Giants present the Top Ten; basketballs and melons are rolled down Fillburn Street, the steepest in the city. 150 Don Johnson, Jeremiah Tower, Alice in Chains Frisco, Day 5: The Alcatraz mock-up in the backdrop is subject to a jailbreak; Dave hangs out with a local hippie, thus introducing the world (not to mention fleeting fame) to one Manny Papp; Dave loses a blue card, and then finds it inside a crab at Fisherman's Wharf; Manny meets his hero, John Popper of Blues Traveler. 151 Anjelica Huston, Paul Hogan, Natalie Merchant Dave quizzes the audience on his week in San Francisco, during which Gene Siskel runs onstage looking for Roger Ebert. Later in the show, he gives up on his search, then relaunches his film review program as ""Siskel and DeForest."" Also, Natalie Merchant sings ""Jealousy."" 152 Jon Stewart, Kirstin Dunst, Dog's Eye View Manny the Hippie gives his first live remote from San Francisco, as Dave asks him to give periodic reviews on current movies. Tonight, he reviews Twister, which he personally didn't care for. 153 Jeff Foxworthy, Flyball Dogs, Joan Osborne Junior Brown sits in, and Dave tries on his very unique hat. Also, a guy dressed up as Ronald McDonald gives Dave the Top Ten, and later he is found lying dead in the street. 154 Walter Cronkite, Harry Hill, Spin Doctors During Mailbag, Tony sits in for Dave while Dave sits in for Alan saying ""letter number two,"" which leads into a question about lawn care; comedian Harry Hill tells jokes about Cher, The A-Team, and his grandmother's funeral; Spin Doctors perform ""She Used to Be Mine."" 155 Helen Hunt, Dave Matthews Band For no apparent reason, Dave orders Tony to take a taxi; Manny the Hippie presents the Top Ten; a dentist checks out a weird whistling noise coming out of Dave's mouth when he speaks. 156 Fran Drescher, Brian Regan, Joan Jett Two audience guys go outside to monitor the temperature, and given their meteorological expertise, are ordered to stand next to a giant thermometer. 157 John Goodman, Norm MacDonald, Patty Loveless It's time for a new game called ""May We Turn Your Pants into Shorts?"" Dave is the first to mutilate his slacks, and is followed by Paul, Biff, John Goodman, and Norm MacDonald, who was already wearing shorts. 158 Stupid Human Tricks, Brett Butler, Al Green Dave shows a clip of his favorite moment from last night's show: Biff doing a quadruple take upon seeing Dave's slacks getting cut at the knee; Dave's contact lens fall out, so he wears his glasses for half the show; Brett Butler performs a Stupid Human Trick. 159 Leslie Nielsen, Daphne Zuniga, Bring in Da Funk Dave's jacket is stain by coffee, so he throws it into the balcony; an ""unknown guest"" crashes the show; Leslie Nielsen promotes Spy Hard. 160 Kid Inventors, Dennis Quaid, Seven Mary Three Dave and Conan O'Brien get ""Bob Dole Is Old"" jokes from the joke storeroom in the basement of the Ed Sullivan Theater. Also, Dave invites several staffers (including then-intern Stephanie Birkett) to discuss their dreams at a local steakhouse. 161 Martin Short, Jimmy Vassar, Bryan Adams Live via satellite in San Francisco, Manny the Hippie reviews the film ""Spy Hard"": ""It's schwiggity schwag!"" Also, ""She Loves Me"" week begins with Martin Short, who performs this song, hanging on to the last note while leaving the theater, grabbing a soda at the Hello Deli, getting a massage, and returning to the theater wearing a terrycloth robe. 162 Nathan Lane, Daisy Fuentes, Mitch Fantel Dave invites customers from the Roy Rogers restaurant across the street into the theater to be checked for ticks; Dr. Sam Merrick declares them tick-free. Also, Day 2 of ""She Loves Me,"" tonight performed by Nathan Lane. Like Martin Short the previous night, Nate holds the last note, goes out to Hello Deli for a soda, then to a massage, and back inside the theater with a robe. 163 Diana Ross, George Wallace Diana Ross performs a variation of the song ""She Loves Me"" called ""He Loves Me,"" and while holding the final note, buys a soda at Hello Deli, gets a massage at a nearby spa, and walks back inside the theater wearing a white robe. 164 Matthew Broderick, Kim Delaney, Rent Dave tells a mean fat joke about Roger Ebert, and shortly afterwards the film critic calls Dave a bastard; four singers present the First Annual Late Show Salute to the Word ""Ass""; on Day 4 of ""She Loves Me"" week, Matthew Broderick performs a certain 1950's pop standard, holds the last note, runs through the theater, grabs a soda at the Hello Deli, gets a handbill for a free massage, receives the massage, and returns to the theater wearing a robe, still holding the note. 165 Rosie O'Donnell, Heather Matarazzo, Cracker The final day of celebrity ""She Loves Me"" performances takes place when Rosie O'Donnell sings, holds the last note, runs through the theater, grabs a soda at Hello Deli, gets a handbill for a free massage, receives the massage, and returns to the theater wearing a robe, still holding the same note. Dave follows this flawless presentation with a week-long retrospective. 166 Siskel & Ebert, Andrew Shue, Dana Gould Biff attempts to learn how to fly; actor/soccer fanatic Andrew Shue introduces footage of him, Elizabeth Shue, and John Shue playing a pick-up game of his sport of choice. 167 Dennis Franz, Joe Queenan, Gloria Estefan In a piece of videotape footage that ""will disturb and shock you,"" Dave introduces clips of Bill Clinton singing ""Mustang Sally"" and Boris Yeltsin dancing. 168 Ben Stiller, Liv Tyler, Douglas Rodriguez Dave fools around with a hot glue gun, while up-and-coming actress Liv Tyler (daughter of Bebe Buell and Steven Tyler) promotes Stealing Beauty. 169 Danny Glover, Bobby Maley, Joey Kola Kenny Wayne Shepherd sits in; Dave points out that one of tonight's ""CBS Mailbag"" letter-writers is in the audience; during Mailbag, ""Ronald McDonald"" (Leonard) verbally abuses Dave. 170 Kelsey Grammer, Amber Valletta, Ozzy Osborne Dave bids farewell to one of his longtime staffers; Kelsey Grammer promotes ""Down Periscope""; Manny reviews The Cable Guy: ""Dank."" 171 Vanessa Williams, Jonathan Silverman, Lucile Treganowan Remote: Dave works the drive-thru at a Taco Bell in Jersey. Later, he chats with Lucille Treganowan, 66-year-old grandmother/hot rod guru. (correct synopsis) 172 Sarah Jessica Parker, Marv Albert, Lyle Lovett Some guy carrying the Olympic torch comes through to interrupt the monologue. Also, Dave recalls a fake Father's Day memory when his son ""Jimmy"" gave him an ashtray. Paul doubts the story, forcing Dave to recall his ""real"" video memory: ""Jimmy"" arriving with pizza. (correct synopsis) 173 James Caan, Julie White, Patti Smith Biff recruits an audience member to get splashed in the face by a speeding taxi going over a puddle. Also, CBS head honcho ""Les Moonves"" discusses the CBS fall lineup, then sings Harry Chapin's ""Cat in the Cradle."" 174 Pauly Shore, Gena Lee Nolin, Vince Gill In response to a CBS Mailbag letter that noticed a likeness between Inky Mendez and Steven Speilberg, Martin Scorsese is seen impersonating Anton Fig. 175 John Travolta, John Sayles, The Presidents of the United States of America Dave shows off a tick that has embedded itself into his suit, then shows more footage of him at Taco Bell. (correct synopsis) 176 Conan O'Brian, Eleanor Mondale, Blues Traveler 1996-06-24 177 Bruce Willis, Christine Wilson, Jimmy Buffet 1996-06-25 178 Jerry Van Dyke, Luke Perry, Fugees Jerry Van Dyke rides onstage on a mule; Luke Perry gives Dave his sideburns; The Fugees perform ""Fu-Gee-La."" 179 Cher, Shaquille O'Neal 1996-06-27 180 Michael Keaton, Ving Rhames, Goo Goo Dolls Manny the Hippie reviews Striptease: ""Schwag."" Also, Creepy Dave drops by to ask Michael Keaton about human cloning. 181 Harry Connick, Jr., Josie Bisset 1996-07-01 182 Will Smith, Demi Moore 1996-07-02 183 Jeff Goldblum, Jonathan Katz, George Clinton & the P-Funk All-Stars Dave airs his first new July 3rd show since his morning show in 1980. During the ""Rejected FDA Products"" segment, Dave introduces ""Sherwin-Williams Fettucine in Paint."" Later, Jeff Goldblum promotes ""Independence Day"" as Rupert searches the sky for UFOs. 184 Kids Tell Jokes, Dan O'Brian, Brian Setzer Orchestra Mujibur and Sirajul stand on the roof, waiting for the fireworks in broad daylight; during Mailbag, ""Neil Diamond"" (Calvert) rouses the crowd with a smokin' rendition of ""America;"" two audience members take an American flag to the Empire State Building; The Brian Setzer Orchestra performs ""Town Without Pity."" 185 Randy Quaid, Sheryl Swoopes, The Cure Dave switches places with an audience woman, and later she sits in with the band; Elaine Stritch storms onstage and chews out Dave; Randy Quaid promotes Independence Day. 186 Scottie Pippen, Prince, George Miller 1996-07-08 187 Bill Pullman, JoAnn Ussery, Willie Nelson Dave points out that Paul is the co-musical director for the Olympic closing ceremonies; Biff keeps interrupting Dave; Dave chats with Joanne Ussery, a woman who lives in a renovated Boeing 727. 188 Jack Hanna, Brent Spiner, Charlie Watts Manny the Hippie talks about his trip to Roswell, New Mexico, while The Charlie Watts Quintet (featuring Bernard Fowler) performs ""In a Sentimental Mood."" 189 Meg Ryan, Shaolin Monks, Garbage Dave shows a semi-embarrassing clip of Meg Ryan from her days on ""As The World Turns,"" featuring a ""young"" Paul Shaffer and Will Lee. 190 Bill Murray, MaliVai Washington, Wallflowers Dave tries to find the owner of car whose license plates read ""SO HAPPY,"" and later he shows footage of a Wheel of Fortune contestant screwing up the answer to a puzzle: ""Paul Shatner!"" 191 Margaret Colin, Lou Diamond Phillips, Wali Collins 1996-07-15 192 Laurence Fishburne, Lea Thompson, Me'Shell Ndegeocello Dave continues to gloat over the Late Show's (alleged) title as Official Talk Show of the Summer Olympics, with abortive sports commentary by Anton; Laurence Fishburne promotes Fled. 193 Michael J. Fox, Shelly Moquin, Travis Tritt & Marty Stuart Country legend Marty Stuart sits in, while a disgruntled alien (Gerard) comments on inaccuracies in the movie Independence Day. 194 Andie MacDowell, Bob Woodward, Paul Westerberg Dave discusses in length the show's embarrassment of Emmy riches this year (four nominations); the ""CBS Mailbag"" presents Dave's 10,000th ""Bob Dole is old"" joke; Dave receives another discouraging visit from Fan Club president ""Cliff Sussman"" (Jay Johnson). 195 David Duchovny, Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Sponge Leonard ""The Ronald McDonald Guy"" Tepper joins Rupert for another one of his hidden-mike remotes with Dave. Later, Jackie Joyner-Kersee promotes her new fitness book and upcoming appearance at the Atlanta Games. 196 Danny DeVito, Amy VanDyken, Hootie & the Blowfish Dave welcomes the Gold Medal-winning U.S. Olympic Girl's Gymnastics Team (minus the injured Kerri Strug); during a ""New Products"" segment, Pat Farmer models a t-shirt made from venetian blinds. 197 Rhea Perlman, Dot Richardson, Reggie McFadden 1996-08-06 198 Michael Johnson, Tom Arnold, Tracy Chapman Dave announces that the Late Show has its own version of ""The Real World,"" with Paul, Anton and Pat Farmer whining about their personal problems. 199 Dennis Miller, Mia Hamm, Butthole Surfers During ""CBS Mailbag,"" Secret Service Agents dance the Macarena; Dennis Miller promotes his new HBO talk show; Butthole Surfers perform ""Pepper."" 200 Dennis Hopper, Cheech Marin, Sex Pistols Dave brings up three girls from the audience, confiscates their gum, and sends them out to goof off in a nearby fountain; the Sex Pistols perform ""Pretty Vacant."" 201 Richard Simmons, Jerry O'Connell, Lionel Richie 1996-08-12 202 Kevin Pollak, Diane Lane, Randy Travis 1996-08-13 203 Ellen Barkin, Jackie Chan, Patti Rothberg 1996-08-14 204 Dwight Gooden, Tom Selleck, George Jones Dave chats with Yankees pitcher Dwight ""Doc"" Gooden, who threw a no-hitter the night before. 205 Mike Wallace, Tom Dolan, Dave Attell Dave gives a ham to a man in the audience who correctly guessed his weight (158 lbs). 206 Marilu Henner, Alex Rodriguez, J.R. Havlen 1996-08-19 207 Dennis Rodman, Susan Molinari, Neville Brothers 1996-08-20 208 Angie Everhart, Mario Van Peebles, Beach Boys 1996-08-21 209 James Carville, Ed Burns, Melissa Etheridge 1996-08-22 210 Nathan Lane, Mara Wilson 1996-08-23 
